This past week, I haven’t been able to hold a thought in my head… except “baby”. With as many things as I have going on and our exciting trip to London in less than 2 weeks, all I could think about was getting pregnant. Yesterday I was talking with Bobpuin and feeling upset about these obsessive, for lack of a better word, thoughts I couldn’t seem to suppress. How could this be happening to me? Already? As much as I vowed I would not lose myself in everything baby! Bobpuin assured me its normal and I’m just excited. She said those feelings will get milder as the months of trying go by. She herself has been trying really hard for the past 6 months and I remember when she would get crazy about it too.
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Well today I feel awesome! I’m past the mittelschmerz (mid-cycle ovulation) and I feel like my usual self. I suppose it was the hormones from those 5 fertile days that just passed. However, I have a new found respect for the power of maternal feelings that are brought on by the body. I was naive to think I could resist feelings all other women before me have already endured. I am proud that I was able to snap out of it some due to my own awareness of what was happening (and the confirmation from Bobpuin). I see that if our 3 nights of love making out of the 5 fertile days is successful, I am going to have my hands full trying to master the hormones of pregnancy… and so will Craigery.
This might be TMI but I am excited to share that my body is on track! I didn’t know what to expect dealing with poly-cystic ovaries but I think my consistent exercise and healthy eating are to thank! My ovulation and menstrual cycles happened as normal and ended on time
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Next fertile days start Sunday Aug 29th! Wish us luck!
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~Piece
I haven’t been able to post much in the past week… been so busy. I guess with a baby I will be even busier in the future. But any who Farrah linked an interesting blog post to me about cloth diapers. I had never really considered cloth, it seemed so retro. I know my mom had cloth diaper service for me in the 80′s but everyone else I know did disposable… until recently.
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Cloth diapers seem to be making a come back! A friend of mine recently said she was now using cloth diapers for her son who is about 6 months old. I asked her about what she does when the baby poops? She said she uses a combo of disposable and cloth. She knows his schedule and only uses the cloth diapers during times he shouldn’t have to poop. Of course if he does poop then she says she rinses before laundering, obviously.
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The site with the article is HERE and they state they use disposable diapers when they are out of town, but use cloth all the rest of the time! They say the baby seems less fussy, sleeps longer at night, seems generally more comfortable, and doesn’t get diaper rash! They only have 12 cloth diapers and they launder them every other day. They said if there are any poopies they spray the diaper down in the toilet first. They toss dirty diapers into a bin in the baby’s room and don’t have any complaints about smell. Now their baby is still young so having solids might make the poop more interesting in the future but they don’t for see a problem.
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They said the cloth diapers they got, from Bumgenius, started to fit their baby after “newborn” so around 3 months. Apparently they are one size fits all but should last all the way to potty training! Even to the next baby! They really liked the frugality of it too. They say they spent $180 on disposable diapers in the first 9 weeks, yet the 12 pack of these high quality diapers cost $265 and are to last the whole time! You might be thinking, who wants to wash diapers every other day? But the flip side is that so many times they had to run out to the store to get more diapers. That can be so much more annoying then popping in a load. Not to mention lowering the amount of waste from the disposable diapers in a landfill, if that’s important to you.
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I talked to Craigery a little about it and i think its something we would consider. I never in my life thought about it before, but I’m thinking about it now. Anyone else have experience with cloth diapering?
The book blurb of the week comes from “Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of it” by Andrea Buchanan. So far its sort of a telling of her experiences but also embodies her interpretations of how she imagines motherhood should be and her wake-up call.
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So far, throughout all my research and pondering, it has led only to more questions, and my wanting to know more answers. Until now. I know that sounds dramatic… what can I say, I’m the youngest . But in all seriousness, one paragraph in this book has helped me understand more than anything else so far. The author begins with this “… I had so many questions about what mothering would be like: What does it mean to love as a mother? Is it all selfless sacrifice, giving until you have nothing left? Or is it enough just to love and have a little of yourself left over? Is it food on the table every night, doing something special for your child’s birthday, leaving little notes in her lunchbox? Or is just being there enough, giving your baby a roof over her head and clean sheets beneath her as she sleeps? Would I fall in love with my baby at first sight the way I’d heard I should? What if I didn’t? What if I couldn’t? What if I loved her but she couldn’t love me?” Right away I can relate to this rant… most women can. They are common queries; things I’m trying to discover on my journey. If only I could get even a few of the answers I’m looking for…
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She goes on.. “The most troubling part of all those questions was that until my own child was born, I could answer them only as a daughter. The deeper Question of how I would be as a mother could not fully be answered until I already was one… living through those questions.” Immediately I felt as if I was told the secret to it all. She calls it the “troubling part”, however I found what she said incredibly comforting. I realized, whether I got the answers I’m looking for or not, it doesn’t matter. I can only digest them as a daughter to a mother. There is no way I can ever fully understand the complexities of motherhood and parenthood without first becoming one. Even when anyone tries to describe it all, each of our opinions and experiences will vary because we have all been shaped differently due to our unique experiences being daughters. It boils right down to psychology. Each person’s choices, when they become a parent, is directly influenced by their own experiences, either good or bad. Of course! It’s so simple and obvious! And now I feel this sense of freedom… a million pounds lighter.. accepting that its ok and I dont have to have a Master’s degree in “Piece as a mom” before it happens. The simple fact is that its impossible.
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Since this epiphany I have begun to really enjoy the discoveries of my readings, instead of frantically skimming books looking only for the topics I wanted.. like a clock was ticking away. As some of you know, I can be a little obsessive at times, and this was like a warm cup of green tea, settling my appetite.
This past week, I haven’t been able to hold a thought in my head… except “baby”. With as many things as I have going on and our exciting trip to London in less than 2 weeks, all I could think about was getting pregnant. Yesterday I was talking with Bobpuin and feeling upset about these obsessive, for lack of a better word, thoughts I couldn’t seem to suppress. How could this be happening to me? Already? As much as I vowed I would not lose myself in everything baby! Bobpuin assured me its normal and I’m just excited. She said those feelings will get milder as the months of trying go by. She herself has been trying really hard for the past 6 months and I remember when she would get crazy about it too.
. But in all seriousness, one paragraph in this book has helped me understand more than anything else so far. The author begins with this “… I had so many questions about what mothering would be like: What does it mean to love as a mother? Is it all selfless sacrifice, giving until you have nothing left? Or is it enough just to love and have a little of yourself left over? Is it food on the table every night, doing something special for your child’s birthday, leaving little notes in her lunchbox? Or is just being there enough, giving your baby a roof over her head and clean sheets beneath her as she sleeps? Would I fall in love with my baby at first sight the way I’d heard I should? What if I didn’t? What if I couldn’t? What if I loved her but she couldn’t love me?” Right away I can relate to this rant… most women can. They are common queries; things I’m trying to discover on my journey. If only I could get even a few of the answers I’m looking for…